Desperately
by Allura01
Summary: Now that the perfect soldier has done what he's best at: disappeared. Relena tries to climb out of the dark hole that has been her life, but her plans to start a new life, without men, fail when she finds herself succumbing to Trowa's charming traits...
1. Departure

**Desperately **

**Disclaimer (for the whole fanfiction): I do not, I repeat, do not own Gundam Wing, but boy, do I wish I did… I mean, five extremely hot guys- uh yeah, sorry!**

A/N – Yes, it's me again, with yet another fanfiction, I don't know if I'll be able to cope with all of these, but I have had inspiration for this one for a while, and decided that it was a waste to let it just slip away without giving it a chance… so here you go… enjoy…

_--"Love is like a butterfly, you have to set it free... if it comes back, it was meant to be."--_

**Chapter one: Departure**

Dull grey clouds cast over the sky, rendering the atmosphere as miserable and gloomy as her current mood. She watched, silently, as the man that she loved, and always would love, walk away, never once turning back around to face her. A lone tear traced its way down Relena's cheek before falling and momentarily staining her blue satin blazer.

A bitter, autumn evening, chill embraced her with open arms, causing her to shudder and clasp her arms over her chest, trying to insulate whatever heat that she still had remaining in her body.

As she watched him board the airship that would take him to his targeted mission, she couldn't help but think that this was going to be the last time she saw him. Pushing the appalling thoughts out of her mind, she set her focus onto the envelope that she was clutching tightly in her hand, as though if she let it go, her life would be over.

She felt her heart die a little, as the engine roared to a start and the aircraft launched, taking off at a speed much greater than any other ship in the surrounding area. The wind blown down from the turbines carried her honey-blond hair gracefully across her pale face as cerulean blue eyes peered from beneath the stray strands, watching, what seemed to be like her last thread of hope disappear into the oblivion above.

It wasn't until she was safely inside the terminal and away from the general public that Relena allowed herself to open the letter that she was still clutching with a death-like grip.

Glancing around her, she scanned her watery eyes through the crowds of people, all wandering, seemingly thoughtlessly, around the terminal. Some crying for joy at the sight of their loved ones, some sharing long passionate yet remorseful goodbyes, and some were wandering around hopelessly in search of one another.

Relena, however, didn't fit into any of these categories, okay yes, she was remorseful, she was sad, she was hopeless but she was also lonely and she knew that she had no one to be looking for. No one who was anticipating her arrival so that they could capture her in their arms and show her just how much she had been missed… nobody.

She tore open the brown letter with trembling hands and with a heavy sigh, she removed the ivory coloured parchment with relevant ease. Unfolding the letter, Relena's eyes stumbled across the few first words. She looked up again and catching Trowa's eye with her own, smiled to her new bodyguard – who was looking at her with a great concern evident in his emerald green orbs – reassuringly. Recomposing herself, she once again, let out a shaky yet heavy sigh and tilted her head back down to the letter, her blond locks flowing freely down her shoulders.

_Dear Relena, _It read in a strong, slanted handwriting.

_I am sorry to have informed you of my sudden departure with such short notice, however I did not want this mission to affect that last few days that I got to spend time with you, I wanted to remember you as the happy, cheerful and bright women that I have always known you to be._

_I hope, for my sake and yours, that this mission will not take longer than I have thought that it would. I look forward to seeing you again within a few months, which I hope will not pass as slowly as I know that they will because you are not here with me._

_This mission, however, was not one that I wanted to participate. It was obligatory that I go, the fate and safety of the preventers, and even you, is now in my hands. And as I have sworn to protect you for as long as I live, I will abide by this promise. I hope that you will forgive me, someday, for the recent events that have taken place and that when I come back, we can fall back into the place that we were. Because, with you, is one place I know that I belong._

Relena lifted her head again, to wipe the tears that were now freely flowing down her face, and onto the parchment below, smudging the handwriting to indistinguishable blurs.

_Without you, Relena, I believe that my soul is useless. I will come back for you Relena, that is a promise, and you know yourself, that I never break promises._

_With Love, Heero_

Relena inhaled a long unsteady breath, and slouched back into the terminal chair, staring aimlessly at the parchment in her hands. After a few moments, she shook herself out of her trance and folded the paper back into the envelope, tucking it neatly into the inside pocket of her blazer.

"Relena?" Trowa's voice stirred her out of her reminisces and she glanced up into emerald green eyes. Their owner crouched down on front of her, to be face to face with her, his light brown uni-bang obscuring most of her view of his left eye. He lifted up a long muscular hand and casually swept away a stray tear from her cheek. "Everything will be okay," he assured her.

"You really think so?" She asked him doubtfully, her gaze flitting down to her fumbling hands.

"Yes, I really do." He lifted his hand to her chin, tilting her head back up with his thumb and forefinger so that he could stare into her cerulean blue orbs, "Really, now come on, your limo awaits, my lady."

Relena giggled, slightly through her sniffles, as Trowa stood, bowed to her in a 'gentleman' manner and held a hand out for her, she gratefully accepted it and before pulling her to her feet, Trowa pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly.

Relena felt a slight blush rise to her cheeks, but she quickly dismissed her sudden rash behaviour as nothing and rose to her feet with Trowa's help.

Her usually silent friend slipped his arm through hers with only one thing in his head, that being the favour that Heero had asked of him.

"_Trowa," Heero said, his voice was no longer monotonous but held a somewhat sombre tone beneath it, "Would you do me a favour?"_

"_Yeah, sure, what is it?" Trowa asked curiously, staring into his friend's solemn Prussian blue eyes._

"_Take care of her for me… Promise me you'll do that," Heero asked as he shook his unruly dark brown hair, stray strands falling loosely in front of his sad and sorrowful eyes._

_Trowa didn't need Heero to elaborate on what he meant, for Trowa already knew, too well, what his friend's request had meant. He wanted him to take care of Relena while he was gone. Trowa immediately felt as though he had been punched in the stomach, not that Heero had done anything wrong, it was just that, he knew that he was _not _the guy that Heero should leave this task with. _

_He though of telling Heero that he couldn't do it, that he should leave it to Duo or Quatre, hell, even Wufei would have been a better fit for the job._

_Just _not_ him._

"_Barton?" Trowa's head shot up, to stare, once again, into those lifelessly dull eyes of Heero's._

'_I can't do it, Heero…' No, no, that would never do, Heero was his friend, he trusted him, and Trowa was going to have to do this, not for himself, not for Relena, but for Heero._

"_I promise," Trowa said slowly and reluctantly, enunciating each word as carefully as he could, to ensure that his head wouldn't mess it up._

_Heero let out a sigh of relief, and Trowa realised that he had been holding his breath, awaiting his response._

'_I don't know if I can do this Heero… because, I too, am in love with Relena."_

'What am I getting myself into?" He asked him self, groaning inwardly.

* * *

So what do you think? That I should continue with this along with the others, or that I should drop it, as it is a lost cause? 

Anyways, thanks for reading, and please, please, please, pretty, pretty, please review.

Love y'all

Allura


	2. Rapid Hope Loss

**Desperately **

AN - Thanks to all of you who reviewed, your reviews were extrememly encouraging, and as you wished, I have continued!

**Chapter two: Rapid hope loss**

The TV blared in the corner of the room, stirring Relena from her peaceful slumber. A muffled yawn escaped her small lips as she stretched her arms out, on top of her head.

"Important news bulletin, just in," announced the strangely serene voice of a woman from the TV set, interrupting an advertisement promoting a new seductive fragrance, "A private aircraft has mysteriously disappeared off the cost of the Pacific. We have been informed that the aircraft was making a departure flight, and had been travelling for less than an hour when it vanished. Belief is that the aircraft was shot down and had unfortunately made a haste descent to the floor of the Pacific."

Relena groaned; this was just what every girl wanted to wake up to after an amazing dream about her true love. She sleepily parted her eyelids and squinted blurrily at the TV screen, which was replaying clips of the departing flight of the aircraft and casting a bright, multicoloured glow throughout the unlit room.

"Scientists, forensics, investigators and rescuers are already scanning the floor of the Pacific for the missing private jet. We do not know, yet, who or how many were on board the flight, however we do know that they aircraft belonged to the organisation known as 'the preventers'."

Relena sat up straight on her lounge chair, staring at the screen unbelievably. All the drowsiness that had remained in her system after her short sleep had disappeared. It had been drained out of her system to be filled, instead, with fear.

The beautiful women on the screen, with her perfect features and undeniably shiny hair, which was tied back behind her head, stared at Relena with little emotion. Relena watched her lips move animatedly without actually hearing what she was saying. She felt numb, frighteningly numb, as she stared at the clip of the aircraft lifting from the ground, the very same one that she had seen only six months ago, take off with Heero and leave her in tears.

"We're going straight to Ross; live at the preventers' base, who will be interviewing Lady Une – the head preventer - for more information." The woman told her as the screen flickered to portray a middle-aged man who was holding up a large black microphone to Lady Une, who looked, to Relena, as serious as she always had.

"Thank you Claire. And now, Lady Une, do you have any information that you could share with us about this incident." The man said, the gentle breeze tugging his black hair back and forth in front of his pale face.

"I'm sorry – uh… Ross – but I have just as much information as you do, and any information that I may have on the flight is, in fact, highly classified, so I am sorry, I cannot give you any infor-" Lady Une informed him, looking as though she was very eager to escape from him and the camera.

"Lady Une," The young man interrupted, "please, our viewers are very keen to find out more information on the disastrous yet interesting event."

Relena scowled at his statement, her eyebrows furrowing deeply.

"No," Lady Une stated plainly, "I'm sorry I must go now, and please, do not provoke any of my subordinates to leak any of this information to you. Good day." And she was gone, walking quickly away from the camera, whose lens was following her as she disappeared back into her headquarters.

Relena, whose eyes were still temporarily glued to the screen, shook herself from her trance and stood, hastily, grabbing her coat from the hanger on which she had hung it after arriving home from the office. As she thrust each of her arms into the openings of her coat sleeves, she called out to a person, who she knew would be lurking silently in the shadows, being sure not to disturb her.

"Trowa?" The tall, handsome bodyguard emerged from the shadows and into her peripheral vision, Relena spun around to greet him, "Ah, there you are. I'm sure that you, too, heard the report on the news?"

Trowa nodded his head, sending his smooth brown locks in front of his eyes.

"Could you, please, take me down to the preventers' headquarters? I want to find out what's going on." She told him, her voice trembling as she spoke. She noticed, faintly, the grave expression on his face as he gazed back at her.

"Yes, of course. Are you ready to leave now? Or shall I give you a few minutes?"

"No, I'm ready to leave now," she told him, abruptly.

-x- -x- -x-

The drive to the headquarters was uneasy and tense as both friends sat quietly, awaiting the events that lay ahead of them.

The cold February climate eroded the atmosphere in the car with a piercing chill, and the heavy precipitation battered the windscreen with a noise so tremendous that it echoed through the vehicle, eliminating the still silence.

Relena gazed out of the passenger's window in Trowa's sports car warily, not really seeing the objects that flew, at a great speed, past her eyes. Inhaling deeply, she tried to calm her nerves, which were jittering violently inside of her, causing a nauseous feeling to sweep over her at regular intervals.

Trowa cast a short scrutinising gaze in her direction, wishing that she would say something… anything to reveal her thoughts and feelings. He knew one thing for sure, the emotion that was so clearly evident in her beautiful cerulean orbs… fear. She feared what may happen if that flight, that had been callously disrupted from its journey, was the very same plane that had left with Heero on board last September.

Constantly flickering his attention, skilfully, between the road ahead of him and the honey blond girl sitting to his right, he wondered briefly, how she would cope with the loss of Heero. For, even though they had not displayed nor told anyone of their passionate feelings for each other, it was obvious to everyone who knew them personally that the perfect soldier and the fervent pacifist were deeply besotted.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the young seventeen-year-old girl wrap her arms around her upper torso and shiver gently. He lifted a hand from the gear stick and twisted the heating up a few notches.

Immediately, warm air wafted freely throughout the small car, fanning the lustrous scent of Relena's sweet vanilla fragrance into the air that he was breathing. Trowa inhaled deeply, admiring the alluring musk.

He concentrated on the winding road in front of him, trying to distract himself from the wistful thoughts of the blond haired beauty. The window wipers oscillated from right to left, swiftly shoving obscuring raindrops to the side and preventing them from blurring his vision.

"Relena," he voiced, hesitantly. The light haired girl spun her head around quickly to seek the intruder of her thoughts.

"Yes?" She asked him and Trowa noticed that the radiant smile that usually adorned her pretty face, was missing.

"Are you okay? I have never known you to be so solemnly quiet." At this, Relena graced him with a small reassuring smile; however, Trowa could see that it was very much forced.

"I'll be fine Trowa, don't worry about me. I'm just… reminiscing." Relena told her friend, concluding her sentence with a tone, which informed Trowa that it was the end of their conversation.

-x- -x- -x-

Relena stepped out of the car and stared up at the preventers' headquarters in a state of dismay. She wasn't quite sure if she really wanted to know the details behind the plane crash. But something inside of her pushed her into wanting to know the truth.

The raindrops plummeting down from the sky pattered against her new beige, linen suit and dampened her hair so that it was starting to stick, annoyingly, to her face.

She was thankful when Trowa - who had noticed that she was still standing, staring at the building in the rain – threw his coat around her head and his, therefore protecting her from the rain that was beating against her numb body.

As soon as they were through the first few security barriers – which included thorough examining – they were shown into a small, yet comfortable room, in which they were told to wait for Lady Une.

After what seemed like a stressful and anxious couple of hours waiting and anticipating the arrival of Lady Une, the small oak door to their left was thrust open and the women that they had been patiently waiting for, glided in.

"Ms Relena, Trowa, Good evening, I hope that the two of you are well?" Lady Une asked, brushing imaginary lint off her grey business suit and setting herself down in a chair opposite her two visitors.

"Yes, very well, thank you," Relena replied, for both of them, as Trowa was still standing silently, beside the door, watching the conversation with relevant ease.

"I realise that you are both here to enquire about the traumatic attack on flight number 001. Yes, this event was, in fact, very disturbing for me to find out, however, the aircraft has not yet been found and we must still be positive towards the situation." She glanced solemnly at Relena, running a hand through her golden brown locks before continuing, "And fortunately, but unfortunately, we were able to identify that the last user of the aircraft was… Heero Yuy."

A stifled sob escaped Relena's lips as she stared at Lady Une, the woman who had just confirmed all of her greatest fears. Her one and only love, Heero Yuy, was no longer.

"Relena, I'm dreadfully sorry, I know this must be hard on you, of all people, considering your relationship with Heero, but you _must not _give up hope yet, there is still a chance that he could have escaped the aircraft before it hit the sea, that is, if it even entered the sea." Lady Une said, sympathetically, staring at the young adolescent in front of her who had just began sobbing hysterically. She glanced frantically at Trowa, who had pushed himself off his position against the wall and was now sauntering over towards the girl.

"Relena," he started his voice strangely calm and soothing, "listen to Lady Une," he occupied the seat beside her and spun her chair around slightly, so that she was facing him. He pried her hands away from her face and gazed into her eyes, deeply, "you mustn't give up hope yet, there's still a chance, you have to believe in him Relena," Relena whose eyes, he had realized, were painfully glazed over with a loss of hope and a glint of desperation.

She tuned her face away from him, feeling anger rise and course hastily through her bloodstream and not wanting to take it out on Trowa.

"You love him," Trowa started with an almost pained tone to his voice, "I know that… and he loves you too…" his voice broke and he paused, staring at the hysterical girl in front of him.

'Come on, Trowa,' he told himself, 'look at her, you have to do this, for her, because if you really love her, you will help her, no matter how much it pains you.'

His hand reached out to tilt her head back towards his, "Believe in him Relena, believe in him with all of your heart, and you'll make it through this. The _both_ of you."

-x- -x- -x-

The grass beneath her feet emitted the soft, alluring and fresh scent of nature, which blended in the air with the scents of the cold and damp soils and the misty dew that hung around the atmosphere. A gentle breeze tugged at her soft hair, pulling strands across her face and shoulders as Relena stood, head bowed, clutching a handful of freshly bought red roses in her delicate, thin hands.

She stared, sorrowfully, at the soil, which hid the empty grave beneath her feet. She slowly let her lifeless, dull eyes drift up towards the marble stone that marked and commemorated his death. Relena stared insensibly at the meaningful words, carved intricately into the hard marble with a golden trim, which she had already memorized.

'_A hero on earth – A star in heaven'_

The last sentence read, it had been carved underneath all of his details, and though Relena understood why that specific quote had been chose, she couldn't quite convince herself that it was worthy of his gravestone. There should have been something else, something more loving… something to show everyone that he was much more beyond just a hero. He was a great friend, love and even a great enemy. He was chivalrous and respectful and…

The words in front of her blurred as another set of tears rolled hastily down her cheeks. She clenched her fists - fighting off the powerful emotions within her that threatened to emerge – and felt a sharp jabbing pain shoot up her arm. Surprised, Relena glanced down at her hand to see small droplets of crimson-red blood trickling down her hands and falling steadily to the base of the grey stone. She dropped the roses from her hands and they, too, fell to the base of the grave, staring numbly at her feet, Relena crouched down beside the head stone staring at the two words representing the one thing that she missed more than anything.

'_Heero Yuy'_

"I love you," she said quietly, fresh teardrops melding with the soil below.

Above her, the sun broke through the early morning mist, casting a soft warm glow onto her head and shoulders.

A hand on her shoulder startled her, but she didn't dare move from her spot and continued to stare longingly down to the ground.

"And he loves you too," Trowa's voice told her. His words seemed so far away even though she knew that he was standing beside her.

She knew it too, deep down inside, she knew, that Heero Yuy loved her, and always would.

"I'm giving up Heero," she told the marble gravestone which now glittered beneath the sun's gentle rays, She felt Trowa gasp quietly beside her, but his hand sliding into hers encouraged her to continue her sentence. "But I still believe, in you… and your love."

* * *

So? What do you think. I don't think I was that great at writing the graveyard part, but hey! One can only get better, and to we get better through experience!

Review? Please?

Love y'all

Allura


	3. The Essence of Envy

**Desperately**

**A/N** – Hello again! Thank you for the very encouraging reviews, they were greatly appreciated. I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter as much as the last few. This chapter isn't exactly very significant to the plot, however, it does prove a few things that will help the story run smoothly along.

**Chapter three: The essence of envy**

Relena drummed her thin, delicate fingers along the long, rectangular mahogany conference table, and sighed quietly in a state of boredom.

She scanned her eyes along the plain ivory walls, situated behind the row of wealthy, middle-aged politicians, each ranging from the age of thirty forwards.

At the age of twenty, Relena wondered why she was stuck in this meeting, listening to the droning voice of the speaker who was discussing a topic, in which Relena had no experience whatsoever.

She caught the eye of a tall, handsome and brooding young man, who stood leaning casually against the far wall, his long muscular arms folded across his broad chest.

She grinned and rolled her eyes at the representative, standing at the top of the table, repeating various techniques that 'all of them should use when dealing with important foreign visitors'. Trowa smirked back at her, his emerald green eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Ms. Darlian." A bold voice interrupted the silent conversation with her bodyguard and Relena snapped her attention back to the women standing at the top of the table, frowning at Relena in irritation. "Could you _kindly_ pay attention, and _please_ stop drumming your fingers against the desk. It is highly frustrating for those of us who_ are_ paying attention." The woman glared at her, awaiting an apology and tossing her fine blonde hair away from her pretty face.

Relena fought hard to resist the temptation to roll her eyes once again, and instead smiled pleasantly at her intruder.

"Yes, I'm dreadfully sorry, please continue." She answered courteously. After she was sure that the woman was no longer paying attention to her, she chanced a glance back to Trowa, who, once he had caught her gaze, grinned cheekily and turned away quickly in order to restrain himself from laughing.

Relena bit her lip, suppressing the giggle that threatened to emerge from her throat and turned towards the large glass paned window that was only a few seats away from her.

The cars that flooded past the window in a multicoloured motion, blurred, slightly indistinctly as they hastened themselves in an inept attempt to beat the evening rush hour.

'Good,' Relena thought, 'this meeting will be ending soon,' her light blue eyes danced quickly up to the silver clock, ticking torpidly upon the bland wall behind the speaker.

For the last few sentences of her speech, Relena tried vigorously to listen and tune into the words – she knew that she would be at a loss, when her brother would later interrogate her on the meeting – but she became distracted, every time that she tried, by the silent and stationary man lurking in the depths of the room.

"And this way, we will be able to bring more people into our country, who will, undoubtedly, bring many talents and foreign skills, which I am hoping shall push us all forward in our strategic attempts to make this a…" Relena sighed and turned her eyes towards the ceiling, wishing that she could just disappear from the room without being noticed. Not that it would have been hard to do; everyone else in the room was deeply enthralled by the words spilling from the speaker's red lips. Either that or they were all _very_ good actors. "And that concludes my speech for today, Thank you all very much for listening…"

A round of quiet applause broke the silence that had settled in the room as everyone rose from their seats.

Walking towards the door, Relena was met by Trowa who placed his hand firmly on the small of her back, guiding her out of the room.

Relena was about to retort to his actions with a comment about being able to walk out of the room herself, when his lips brushed her left ear. Her mind froze suddenly, her heart jumped to her throat, and raced rapidly; pounding against her chest so loudly that she could hear it beating in her ears.

Trowa brushed her hair away from her ear with a slightly callused hand, "Keep walking, _please_, this room is killing me." He whispered, his warm breath tickling her ears.

Relena understood his feeling perfectly; the room was so bland and small that she felt as though it had been enclosing around her slowly the whole way through the lecture on how to deal with foreign economics. Why Zechs couldn't make the meeting himself, was no mystery to Relena, she knew that he hated the tedious place just as much as she did.

"That was great, Sylvia, absolutely marvellous," Relena almost cried as she was leaving the room. She grabbed the blond haired speaker's hand and shook it politely, but Sylvia glared back at her, coldly, her passionate cobalt blue eyes burning angrily with a furious flame. Obviously, she had noticed the underlying tone of sarcasm that was tracing Relena's voice.

"Thank you," Sylvia finally managed top choke out. She stole a quick glance at the man standing, guardedly, behind Relena, and upon liking what she saw, smiled seductively. "Hi, Sylvia Noventa, such a pleasure to meet you, I haven't seen you around here before…" She batted her dark - coated with ample amounts of mascara – lashes at the silent man, who seemed to be taken aback by her abruptness and quick change in attitude.

"Trowa Barton," he answered in his deep, monotonous, but strangely alluring voice, "nice to meet you too."

"Sylvia!" A high-pitched voice, screamed from the back of the conference room, as Sylvia smiled at Trowa pleasantly.

"I'll be there in a moment," she called back, and then started furrowing deep inside her pockets, furiously searching for something, "Do you have a pen?" she asked, eyeing Relena sceptically, but once here eyes had landed on her outer blazer pocket she braced her pleasant smile again and without asking, lifted the silver pen from Relena's pocket. "Thanks!"

Relena glared at her dangerously, but the girl seemed unaffected by this and ignored the callous glare.

She then pulled a small white card out of her own pocket and began scratching the back of it with the tip of the pen, hastily. Then, thrusting both the pen and card into Trowa's hands, and throwing him an immense, beautiful smile, she turned on her stilettos and walked briskly back into the conference room, closing the door firmly behind her.

Relena glared – her shock still registered on her face – up at Trowa, who was staring blankly down at the card in his large hands.

"Huh…" he said, tearing his eyes from the card.

"What?" Relena asked, curiosity and an unknown emotion bubbling up in her chest, "What does it say?"

"Word for word?" Trowa asked, a small smirk appearing on his thin lips.

"Yes." Relena snapped; the two emotions inside of her were making her anger grow swiftly and steadily.

"Okay, okay… 'Trowa, I would really love to meet up with you sometime, maybe to go out somewhere? How about tonight? If you're up to the challenge, call the number on the other side of this card… Sylvia,'" Trowa voiced as he read the message on the card aloud.

"You're not going to go… are you?" Relena asked, hoping deep down, that he was going to reject the girl with whom she had been competing with, throughout her whole career. However much Relena despised her, she had to admit, grudgingly, that the girl happened to be a great politician and exceptionally pretty.

"Well…" Trowa started and Relena could feel his hesitancy to say his next few words, "She seems okay, and you know me… I'm always up for a challenge."

"But…" Relena blurted out, "You were acting as if she was the most boring person in the presentation room. Why now that you can see her outside of the dark, don't you seem to mind that uninteresting side? Wouldn't you rather do something more interesting?" she asked, her blue eyes peering up at him.

'I wouldn't mind taking you instead,' Trowa told his friend, silently, 'but you don't care that way… do you?'

Relena sighed in frustration, and glared up at him, waiting, expectantly for an answer.

"Like?" he asked the honey-blond, raising an eyebrow, "What do you insist that I do instead?"

"Umm…" Relena tore her gaze away from his, not daring herself to glance at his eyes. They were so... mesmerizing, it was as if, every time she looked at him, she couldn't help but tell him the truth, and the truth, in this matter, was not something she wanted to spill.

'Trowa, I don't want you to go out with that immoral slut in there because, in all honesty, I want you to stay with me tonight, be with me… be mine.' However, she knew that she couldn't tell him that, she wasn't ready… not yet.

"Never mind, just go out, I'll have Zechs call Wufei to stand-in for you tonight. You deserve a night off." Relena muttered, staring relentlessly at the cold ground beneath her feet.

"Oh okay," Trowa answered, his tone dropping slightly to show his dismay. "Come on; let's get you out of here." He placed his hand, once again, on the small of her back, guiding her through the dull corridors, out of the building, and then eventually, back to the car.

-x- -x- -x-

Relena watched silently, through the glassy pane of her bedroom window as Trowa left the house. His tall, attractive form sauntering slowly towards the car parked on the driveway, looked slightly unwilling to leave; even more so when he glanced longingly, up towards her window, and upon catching her eye, smiled wistfully before stepping into his car.

Relena moved, hastily, away from the large window. Her heart was racing like crazy inside her chest, thudding against her ribcage with tremendous strength.

Leaning against her wall, calming her nerves, she reminisced about his last smile. There was something about the way that he looked at her, which made her think, just for a moment, that they were meant to be. That he wanted, just as badly as she did, to be with the other, spending the night sitting lazily on a couch, watching movies and just spending time with one another.

Only this time would be unlike all of the other times that they had done that, because they would have been spending it as a couple.

Sighing deeply, Relena regretted not sharing her ideas with Trowa earlier. Knowing her recent luck, her best friend would have a great time out on his date tonight, and that would be him lost.

Lost amongst the alluring sensations of Sylvia's beauty, confidence, elegance and intelligent, witty humour.

He would forget all about the fission that they shared. The deep feeling that she new that they both contained whenever they were around each other; she would never be good enough for him, not after _Sylvia_.

This would leave Relena's heart, once again, broken by the bounds of injustice and fate. The heart that would incinerate to ashes and that would be lost amongst the delirious and ravenous flames of unconditional love.

Relena threw herself onto her bed and stared at the ceiling that hovered far above her head, wondering what would happen during their date this evening. She selfishly hoped that something would go wrong and that she wouldn't lose Trowa, but she knew, deep down, that that possibility was very unlikely.

She hated feeling so envious, but for some reason she couldn't help it. Sylvia had been her rival for as long as she could remember, they competed against each other in everything. Though this time it looked as though Sylvia had won the round, she had gotten to the guy first – the guy that _she_ loved. And her feelings for Trowa had been growing since their friendship had first started developing through the years. Only recently, had she noticed that her feelings for the silent man were not completely platonic.

A loud hammering upon her bedroom door caused her to start suddenly, sitting up on her bed and emerging from her deep thoughts.

"Who is it?" she called to the door.

"Wufei," the concealed man grunted, "Just letting you know that I'll be here if you need me."

The silence, which broke through their short-lived conversation after Wufei's last sentence, signalled to Relena that the conversation was over. However, Relena never thought much of it. Wufei had always preferred not to talk to her when he was called in on duty. He rarely ever took place as her guard, but when he did, he did it reluctantly and grudgingly.

She let her gaze drift slowly back up to the ceiling, losing herself once again in the unfathomable thoughts of what she, so desperately, wanted.

-x- -x- -x-

Trowa sighed inwardly as he stared into intelligent hazel eyes. They glittered in excitement as their owner rambled on about the exhilarating events that had recently taken part in her life.

"… And _then_ she said to me, 'Sylvia…'" The owner of the hazel brown eyes stared animatedly at him, raising her tone in order to imitate another's voice, "'you are the only girl to ever go though this exam and pass with full marks on you first go,' and I swear, I stared at her, absolutely _stunned_ that I had passed with full marks. I mean _really_, If you think about it, I didn't really study all that much, I mean I partied nearly every weekend, I was so _sure_ that I was going to fail…"

'And she goes on,' Trowa thought to himself as he sat in the exclusive restaurant in which he had taken her to, his arms propped up and sandwiched between his head and the table. He nodded his head every so often when she stopped talking and looked at him for some form of apprehension, but apart from that, he tuned her annoyingly elated, voice out of his head. 'Doesn't she ever shut-up? … Blah, blah, blah… you know what? I DON'T CARE-'

"Are you ready to order yet, sir?" A polite voice beckoned him from his deep state of mind, and Trowa snapped his head up to stare at the young woman who was standing before their table, the candlelight engulfing her pretty face in a fiery light. She stood straight as she gazed down at him enquiringly, her pen in one hand and her notepad in the other, ready to take his order immediately.

"Yes please, err… Sylvia, have you decided what you want yet?" Trowa said, glancing questioningly at the good-looking blonde sitting opposite him.

"Yes, I'll have the…" Sylvia scanned down the tall red, intricately decorated menu in front of her before her eyes came to a stop on the meal she had chosen, "Penne alla boscaiola."

The waitress nodded her head in acknowledgement and after jotting the name of the dish down on her notepad she looked up at Trowa, almost shyly, "And you, sir?"

"I'll have the Fettuccine Dorate, please." Trowa replied without hesitation. For some reason, Italian had been a language with which he had been able to connect to and communicate with very easily. Some people had actually insisted that he was from an Italian origin, but since he didn't have very much information of his history to base these assumptions on he went with his initial impression that he was from a Latin based blood-line. 

"Okay, thanks you, your food shouldn't take _too _long." The waitress rhymed off before hurriedly disappearing into the kitchen and out of sight.

"Great," Sylvia started, "I'm completely famished…" She stared after the young waitress, "I think she likes you…" Her voice drifted off, as though she was deep in thought. "Anyway, enough talk about me, tell me something about you." She smiled kindly and Trowa couldn't help but notice just how pretty she really was. Too bad, she had such a dull personality.

"Me? … Well what do you want to know?" Trowa asked, already bored of the conversation. If there was one thing he hated more than a boring conversation, it was a conversation about him.

"How about your work?" She asked, leaning blatantly across the table and slotting her hand into his own.

After staring at their entwined hands, awkwardly, for a few moments, Trowa decided that it would have been rude to pull his out of hers, and instead started upon answering her question.

The discussion didn't last long; with Trowa responding to most of her questions with single-line answers, Sylvia rapidly ran out of questions to interrogate him with, and they sat in silence throughout the rest of the meal.

-x- -x- -x-

Sylvia stepped out of the red convertible with elegance and grace, her heels clicking as they hit the concrete ground, and closed the passenger door with a loud bang. The loud noise echoed throughout the quiet, dark street, bouncing jubilantly off the brick walls.

She spun around, shuddering at the amplifying sound of her last action and started climbing the hill from the drive to her house.

As she moved, her flowing black cocktail dress floated behind her and her sandy-blonde hair danced in wisps across her pale face in the gentle breeze.

Trowa quickly emerged from the car after switching off the engine and jogged slightly to catch up to Sylvia. They walked quietly together, side by side towards her front porch.

"Well, I had a great time tonight." Sylvia started as she reached the porch steps. She turned on the spot to face him, looking, expectantly for a pleasant reply.

"Yeah," Trowa lied, his mask obscuring all of his emotions and instead presenting an impassive, blank gaze, "same here."

"So, will I be seeing you again?" She asked, raising her eyebrows slightly as she gazed at him, the porch light shining upon her light hair and illuminating her thin face and reflecting in her cobalt eyes.

'No!' His mind screamed, but before he had a chance to answer or react to the question, Sylvia had grabbed the collar of his shirt, lowering him down to her level and soon her lips were on his, gently massaging them with hers and Trowa found himself reciprocating her actions.

* * *

Please REVIEW... see that little box down there, the one to the bottome right of the screen... yeah the one that says 'submit review'... That's the one... now look slightly to the right of that... see the go button? Hit that... yep, click on it with the mouse, and then REVIEW... pretty, pretty, pretty pleeeeeeeeeaaaseeee! 

Love y'all

Allura


	4. Blinded

**Desperately**

**Chapter four: Blinded**

Emerald green eyes opened lazily, gazing blearily out of the window on the far wall. Sitting up, Trowa quickly adjusted to the foreign surroundings, which he knew were _definitely_ not his.

Glaring around him with cautious eyes, he came to find that he was not alone in the comfortable bed that he currently inhabited.

The beautiful blonde beside him stirred in her sleep, nestling her head further into the pillow, her pale, faintly blushed face looking contented and serene.

Trowa swallowed nervously as his heart started thrashing riotously in his chest. He sat up wearily and digging his fingers roughly into his temples, he strained to evoke the memories of the previous night, but it was all a blur; a wild, passionate blur.

'Damned wine…' he thought slowly, remembering the large amounts of alcohol that the girl beside him had offered. 'Shit, what have I done?' he added as an afterthought and kicking his feet off the edge of the bed, he rested them on the cold polished wood below.

Pushing the thin white sheets carefully away from him, he tried not to rouse the slumbering girl beside him. He hastily picked up his clothes from the floor and was half-dressed when a voice startled him.

"No…" she muttered, Trowa froze, unmoving, and turned to watch the young women, "Don't leave yet," One of her eyes opened leisurely and Trowa smiled at her, forcefully.

He glanced down to his watch, "It's seven thirty, Sylvia, I have to go to work," Sylvia closed her eyes again, momentarily and stretched her arms above her head.

"Mmmm, okay, well… have you any plans for tonight?" Sylvia asked, a roguish grin creeping upon her fine features and her blue eyes sparking mischievously.

Trowa thought for a moment, gazing distantly at the girl wrapped in the thin white sheets in front of him. Hesitantly, he trailed his eyes along the covers, tracing the fine curves of her body and then slowly back up to meet her curious eyes.

He wasn't really a one-night stand type of guy – that wasn't to say that he hadn't done it before, but he had always ended up regretting it, in the long run.

Guilt… that stupid emotion really _was_ going to be his downfall.

"No, I haven't... I'll call you later." He answered as she stared up at him dreamily. Trowa inwardly sighed; from what he could remember, last night had been unexpectedly great, but he knew that it was all only lust… he hadn't actually_ intended_ to sleep with her, but the alcohol and his lustrous needs blinded his rational thoughts.

Sylvia sat up quickly, pulling the covers up with her, and placed a chaste kiss on Trowa's lips. An overwhelming amount of desire flooded through his body, and without thinking, he wrapped a hand around the back of her head, drawing her further into him as he deepened the kiss.

Sylvia pulled away, smiling gently, "Don't you have to go to work?" She asked, her lips almost touching his as she dragged a hand down his bare chest, rippling over his pronounced abs.

Trowa's eyes snapped open quickly, and he rapidly pulled out of her reach. Grabbing the rest of his clothes and buttoning his shirt, he moved towards the doors. As soon as his hand had reached the door handle, he glanced back at Sylvia, who was watching him with an amused smile gracing her lips.

"I'll see you later," he told her as she blew him a kiss.

Walking out of the door and closing it quickly behind him, Trowa leant heavily against the sturdy wood, staring absently at the vase of magnificently coloured flowers, before him.

"Shit," he repeated, dragging a shaky hand through his hair, anxiously.

-x- -x- -x-

Trowa marched through the doors to the Peacecraft mansion, his thoughts racing wildly in his head and his mind unfocused. This was definitely not a good start to his day; especially considering his profession, which required full concentration, twenty-four-seven.

"I take it the date went well?" Wufei asked him, his face showing a great deal of amusement, as Trowa sauntered into the surveillance room, his eyes clouded with confusion.

Trowa said nothing to his Chinese friend and merely glanced vigilantly at each of the small security screens, scanning for anything out of the ordinary.

Wufei stared at him and Trowa could feel his unnerving stare piercing through him, trying to pry into his thoughts, however, he kept a calm yet serious face, and continued with his safety check.

"Was it _that_ bad?" Wufei asked, his lips twisting slightly at the corners.

"Terrible," Trowa told him, his voice monotonous as his eyes scanned through paperwork, "Is she up yet?" He didn't need to elaborate on who _she _was, for Wufei already knew.

"No, but she should be shortly," Wufei answered, still staring thoughtfully at his friend. "How did you break it off?" Trowa immediately shot him a sharp look, but Wufei was unperturbed.

"I didn't," he answered simply, falling down into the black swivel chair behind him, and resting his head in his hand.

Wufei frowned in confusion, but then his face washed over with a pensive look as an idea dawned upon him. "You… you slept with her?"

Trowa snapped his gaze up towards his friend, wondering how he had caught on so quickly. Trowa's thoughts had always been almost impossible to read, by anybody, even Quatre… how had Wufei managed to infringe his defensive barrier.

Wufei stared down at him, "You never came back last night." He stated, answering Trowa's silent question.

Trowa frowned, for a minute before shoving his feelings away and adorning his usual unemotional mask.

Wufei sighed deeply before saying, "Well, well, aren't we becoming a player?" He smirked tauntingly before jumping quickly out of the way of the silent soldier, who had hastily vaulted to his feet.

"I'm hardly a _player,_ Wufei… I'm seeing her again tonight." Trowa growled as the door behind him opened. In his haze, Trowa had forgotten to check the monitors on the screens, therefore hindering him from being able to see who was approaching the room.

He turned around slowly, knowing exactly who was behind him.

"You're seeing Sylvia _again _tonight?" she asked, her voice showing a hint of disheartenment.

Trowa inhaled deeply, and bracing himself, he faced the, jaded honey-blonde.

"Yes, I am," he stated simply as his emerald eyes locked with her cerulean blues.

Relena eyes narrowed and she walked out of the room without another word. Trowa glanced around quickly to cast a bewildered look towards Wufei, who just grinned back at him with a knowing look on his smug face.

"I guess… you can leave now, I'll take this shift." Trowa told him, leaving the room to follow Relena.

"Can't you see, you fool?" Wufei asked the empty room whilst he grabbed his stuff, "She loves you."

-x- -x- -x-

Relena leant idly against the soft back of her leather sofa, relaxing slightly after her tiresome day at the office. She had pretty much ignored Trowa for the whole morning and afternoon, but as the day slipped into evening, she found that her silent game was growing old and she was yearning to talk to her best friend again.

"Do you feel like spending some relaxing time with me… before you go out that is?" Relena voiced into the dark shadows of her sitting room.

Trowa stepped into the light of the room, his face looking tired and sombre, and instantly, Relena felt guilty for giving him the silent treatment; after all, he hadn't done anything wrong, at all.

"Sure," he answered, placing himself on the plush leather sofa, beside Relena. Relena twisted her body around, so that she could face her friend.

"I'm sorry for-" she started, but Trowa hushed her with a finger to her mouth and a shake of her head.

Her heart began beating wildly, and a rush of blood chased to her head, painting her cheeks a vibrant pink. She nodded mutely, understanding that an apology was not needed, on both of their behalves.

"So, movie, or what?" Trowa asked, his voice husky from the lack of speech.

"Yeah, movie… okay." Relena shook her head, ridding herself of her superfluous shyness.

Trowa raised an eyebrow at her curiously, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Relena answered abruptly, "Why would you think something's wrong with me," she moved off the sofa and knelt before the DVD cabinet, scanning her eyes along the titles for an interesting movie, "What do you want to watch? I have a new movie that Pagan picked up yesterday… '_Stealth_', it looks like your kind of film ... Lots of action, no romance."

"Do you want to watch it?" Trowa asked, selflessly, still frowning slightly from her recent odd actions.

"Yeah, I'm not too fussy with movies; you of all people should know that."

Relena removed the DVD from the cabinet and opening the cover and releasing it from the case, she slipped the disc into the player. Once grabbing the remote control, she moved back onto the sofa, squirming slightly to make herself comfortable.

"Well then ... let the show begin."

-x- -x- -x-

"_Just hurry up; tell me you love me and kiss me_," The feminine voice rang out from the large plasma screen and Relena stole a chanced look at Trowa through the side of one eye.

His eyes were glued to the screen, clearly interested in the movie and anticipating the next combat scene.

'If only I was able to say something like that…' Relena smiled slightly at her own thoughts as the screenplay credits rolled down the screen.

Trowa grabbed the controller and pressing a small black button, the screen fuzzed for a second before flushing black.

"That was… interesting," he voiced after a few seconds of staring at her with an amused smirk.

"That's one way of putting it," Relena replied, also smirking, "What time do you have to leave at?" she asked carefully.

The easiness between the two friends dissipated completely and the empty space it left was filled with an uncomfortable tension.

"I don't know, I haven't called her yet," Trowa stated truthfully, shifting on the sofa and looking generally uncomfortable.

Relena, without thinking, placed her hand on his, squeezing gently, and once the confused pilot looked up at her with a curious gaze, she smiled kindly.

"I'm really sorry for being mad about this. I don't have a right, honestly, it's just that I'm… well… very confused," Relena told him, her voice serene and calm yet her pale face showing a mild look of bafflement.

"I don't understand… what are you confused about?" Trowa asked, her last statement having not cleared the clouds in his mind.

"My feelings…" Relena answered, her voice slightly trembling from the mixed emotions bubbling inside of her, she needed to tell him, to make him understand how she felt, but her voice wouldn't let her.

Trowa frowned, uncertainty washing over his handsome features. "About?" He asked, his voice no longer monotonous, but coated lightly with curiosity. His emerald green orbs seemed to slice into her thoughts, washing them away and flooding her with desire.

"Us," she answered simply, looking down at her hands, unsure of his reaction.

Trowa's frown grew deeper as her contemplated her answer, "Could you maybe elaborate on that?" he asked, tilting her chin towards him with his thumb and forefinger.

Relena sighed lightly, she couldn't tell him, she knew that she couldn't. When she came anywhere near close to telling him, her throat closed up, disabling her voice from working and she choked on her thoughts, as if every thought in her mind was trying to be squeezed out of her head at the same time.

There was only one other option.

Quickly, Relena lifted her eyes to his, locking his gaze in hers and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Pulling away to see his reaction, she was shocked when he grabbed her body, pulling her in towards him and kissed her again.

Relena closed her eyes to the great feeling that spread through her body, tingling her limbs and fluttering excitedly in her stomach.

Running her hands up his strong chest, she tangled them around the back of his neck, tugging him closer as they deepened the kiss, passionately, unleashing their pent up emotions and losing control.

Relena pulled away from him, at a loss for breath, and relished the musky scent of his cologne as she pressed her forehead against his, listening to him panting for air.

"Does that explain things?" She asked slowly, opening her eyes to gaze into emerald green orbs.

Trowa threw her a lopsided smile before pushing her back until she was lying with her back against beige leather sofa, his face growing serious.

Relena, who was somewhat startled by his actions smiled at him unsurely before awkwardly wiggling under his body, which was heavily leaning against her, pinning her down. She could feel his strong stomach muscles tensed beneath his shirt and she found that her hands had somehow moved there... under his shirt, and moving slowly up towards his muscular chest.

She brought her gaze up to his face, noting how his dark fathomless eyes sparkled as he stared at her with a secret smirk on his face.

"What?" She asked unsurely, as one of his hands cupped her chin and he stared at her intensely.

"Do you have any idea what this means to me?" He asked tonelessly.

Relena frowned, her hands stopping on his chest as she stared up in confusion.

Nevertheless, Trowa answered her questions by sweeping down and kissing her deeply, his tongue prying through her lips and exploring the dark chambers of her sweet mouth. One thumb gently caressed the smooth skin of her face whilst he leant on his other hand, which prevented him from putting his full weight on top of her.

As the kiss intensified, their body movements grew vigorous, needy, lustful; Trowa adjusted himself - squeaking on the leather as he did so and producing a roguish smile from Relena – so that he had one leg in between hers and a hand caressing the smooth skin of her thigh, initiating pleasured moans from Relena.

Relena occupied herself by tangling one hand in Trowa's stylish mane and the other still rummaging beneath his shirt. Pulling herself away from him to catch her breath, she stared up intro his handsome face.

The lights had been dimmed for the movie; therefore, Trowa's face was cast into shadows, strangely making him – if possible - even more handsome in her eyes. His dark eyes glittered with a passionate sensation, which Relena was sure she had seen sparkle in his eye before.

She pushed his hair out of his eyes so that both eyes were visible to her. Trowa threw her a secret smile, and his eyes seemed to laugh happily at her antics. She moved her hand away from the hair, only to have it fall back in place again; Relena frowned stubbornly and pushed it away again, but to no avail, it simply fell back to its usual position.

Relena lifted her hand to do it again but Trowa's hand, which was on her thigh, came up to grab her wrist and he smirked down at her knowingly.

"Leave it," he told her, and before she had a chance to reply, his lips were smothering hers, and she forgot everything that she had wanted to say. Everything flew out of her mind, and she relished in the peaceful state and gave into the passionately loving kiss.

A buzzing hum interrupted their passionate session, and Trowa jumped away from Relena suddenly, reaching into a trouser pocket and producing a mobile phone.

Relena looked up at him curiously, as he stared hesitantly at the phone.

"Who is it?" she asked, but Trowa ignored her, clearly deciding what to do.

"Nobody," he answered, throwing the phone to the ground hastily and turning his attention back to Relena, sweeping down from his position, and continuing their kiss where he had left off.

Relena, confused to what was going on, slowly opened her eyes, and without moving from Trowa's kiss, she peered down at the phone on the ground.

'Sylvia?' she thought, searching her mind for reasons why her work associate would be calling Trowa, 'oh yes, their date…'

She felt a smug happiness rise within her as this clicked in her mind.

Trowa had ditched Sylvia for her… and he hadn't even answered her call. Instead, he had decided that her – and her body – were more important.

Smiling slightly against his lips, Relena put her full self into the kiss again and wound her hands around his neck, pulling him closer to her form.

Trowa opened his eyes, shocked by her behaviour, but seeing her mischievously happy grin, he closed his eyes again and kissed her back, with just as much force, his heart racing wildly in his chest and threatening to explode with contentment.

* * *

Meh, this isn't quite what I had planned for this chapter, but its all that i could come up with. I'm not too sure about the end, but i guess i just wasn't in my most passionate mood. Probably due to the fact that i had just written 5 pages of EY, and well that chapter is just action and heartbreak etc... No passionate kisses, for that story... yet. 

But yeah, I love Trowa, is't he a sweetie. I was gonna twist this chapter and make him jump up off the sofa and dash to Sylvia's for some wildly fervent sex! Lol, but nah, i'm not THAT cruel... but i did want a cliffie... too bad.

I'll just have to have an EXTRA big one in the next chapter, a cliffhanger that is.

Okay, well enough of my mindless rambles, hope you enjoyed, and please review!

Love ya'll

Allura


	5. Playing Games

**Desperately**

**Chapter five: Playing Games **

"Trowa, I don't know about this." She hesitated, staring up into confused emerald orbs, "it's just that you know, with everything that's been happening, I was thinking that maybe we should just …"

"Avoid them for a while?" Trowa finished for her, before staring up at the tall brick building that they were standing before. They were surrounded by large white pillars planted along the edge of the building, the elegant, Palladian design of the house, gracing it with immeasurable grace and beauty.

Relena sighed, turning away from him and pulling her hand from his grasp before moving to lean against one of the stone pillars and staring out into the flourishing, rich gardens in front of her. "Not quite avoid them … more like …"

"Pretend that nothing's happened," Trowa finished for her once again, his voice dropping a few decibels, "… That nothing has changed between us?" He came to stand beside her, lifting a hand to her silky, honey-blonde locks, and running his long fingers through them, softly.

Breathing in deeply and inhaling the refreshing floral scent that filled the air around them, Relena turned to him. "Yes." Although his face showed no sign of it, Relena noticed the flash of pain that darted across his eyes.

His hand dropped back down to his side and he turned away from her, staring out into the open green fields of the country land. "Fine," he stepped back before turning to face her again, his eyes now cold and empty, rivalling the cold indifference of his voice, "Whatever you want, Relena." His voice held a somewhat mocking air to it, and Relena couldn't decide whether it was intentional or not.

The look that he was giving her … glaring, accusatory; caused an unexpected burning pain to erupt in her chest, and Relena inhaled roughly, suddenly finding it hard to breathe, but before she could reply, the grand, exterior wooden doors of the house behind them burst open, to reveal a very flustered looking Dorothy.

"There you are!" She puffed, in between gasps of air, "We've been waiting for the two of you to arrive-" She paused to eye them suspiciously, "What are you doing out here?"

Relena's eyebrows furrowed downwards as she stared at Dorothy. She wasn't sure if she approved of her engagement to Quatre; it wasn't that she doubted Quatre's choice in the matter, Dorothy was probably a very nice girl, underneath that reproachful attitude that she always held. However, it was more that she doubted Dorothy's_ intentions_ towards Quatre.

Quatre was a close friend of hers, he was always there … always around to offer a helping hand, especially in dire situations. He had been there the whole time through her ordeal with the crash, always by her side. He was a constant in her life that she could be sure would not vanish, and for that, she was eternally grateful.

Nevertheless, the last thing that Quatre needed was a gold digging bitch, after his money. After all, being the sole inheritor of the Winner Foundation had made Quatre one of the youngest billionaires to live in Great Britain.

"We were just getting ready to come in," Trowa answered, stepping backwards once again, further away from Relena. His eyes met hers, and the aloofness that they held sent a chilling shiver down her back, "Weren't we?"

Swallowing hard, Relena nodded, "Yes … yes, we were." Tearing her eyes away from his, Relena smiled at Dorothy, "I'm sosorry for keeping you. I hope that you weren't waiting too long."

Dorothy shook her head before hesitantly returning Relena's smile, "No we weren't, come on in."

Trowa waited until both Relena and Dorothy had disappeared inside before stepping in himself. He had only reached the front room when a body was suddenly flung at him, and two slender arms were wrapped around his neck.

"Oh, Trowa, I haven't seen you for so long!"

He stretched his neck back, tipping it away to gain a better view. "Cathy!" He suddenly cried, as he recognized his older sister's bouncing, russet curls and her sparkling, light blue eyes, "You made it, I didn't think you would."

Catherine pulled away from him, smiling enthusiastically, "Oh, you have so little faith in me, little brother."

Trowa quirked a dark eyebrow, "You're still calling me that, even though I'm … what? Six inches taller than you?"

Catherine laughed, "You'll always be my little brother. How have you been keeping, Trowa?" she asked as she tugged him into one of the other rooms, in which everybody had gathered.

Trowa's eyes skirted towards the honey-blonde girl laughing happily with Hilde on the far side of the room, "Fine," he stated, "And how have you been?"

Catherine caught his glance and smiled, "Concerned for my little brother."

Trowa pushed her away from him, "Don't be." He stated calmly, "I'm fine."

"Well, I'm here if you want to talk, Trowa." Catherine reached up, her smooth knuckles grazing his cheek tenderly, "Don't be a stranger, darling." She laughed lightly before turning and walking away.

Trowa stared after her as she greeted the crowd of young girls at the side of the room, before embracing Relena in a sisterly hug. His stomach vaulted, and he inwardly scolded himself for acting so ridiculously.

He would not let that girl get to him. He was adamant that he would _not_ let Relena get to him.

Relena glanced at him from over the top of Catherine's shoulder and his breath suddenly caught in his throat at the intensity of her glistening blue eyes.

"Damn it." He growled, lowly. He would _not_.

-x- -x- -x-

"It's been a while," Catherine said as she let her go, "Are you doing okay?"

Relena resisted the urge to grimace. There was that horrible sympathetic look that everybody had become so accustomed to giving her. She hated it; it drove her insane that everyone felt the need to show her sympathy. Yes, she could understand that it was a simple, basic reaction; one that most humans were born with, when around someone who had recently faced trauma, yet still, she couldn't stand it.

"I'm doing well, Cathy, thank you for your concern." Catherine frowned at her, and leant in, subtly, ensuring that none of the other girls noticed her action.

"Are you sure?" She asked, raising her eyebrows and then sneaking a furtive glance to the corner of the room.

Trowa stood there, his arms folded across his chest in his usual stance and his back casually leaning against the white stone wall behind him. His face was carefully masked and he was ably guarding his emotions from all of those around him.

The tall boy suddenly started, his hand delving into his pocket and emerging with a buzzing cell phone. Relena frowned as his eyes scanned the room, meeting hers for two seconds before swiftly turning away as he ducked out of the room.

Was it just her imagination, or had she seen a glimpse of guilt spark in his eyes for a brief moment? After living with the man for years, she had begun to comprehend even the slightest changes in his heavily guarded emotions. Either, she had begun to chip away at the cracks to his stoic exterior, and he was slowly letting her in, or he was just getting lazy.

Even still … what did he have to be guilty about?

"Relena?" She blinked, her view suddenly coming into focus to portray to her, the image of a concerned Hilde. "Are you okay? You zoned out on us there."

Relena shook her head lightly, "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Sorry, where were we?"

Sally laughed amusedly, "You missed it?"

"What did I miss?" Relena asked, her curiosity peaking as she tried to shove Trowa from her mind. She could deal with him later after all. Right now, she was here to catch up with her friends.

"Hilde's confession."

-x- -x- -x-

"Please, stop calling me. I told you that I'm busy."

"_But Trowa, I don't understand what's going on. Last week we had an amazing night out, and then suddenly, you're ignoring my phone calls, my messages … I want an answer, Trowa! Explain to me what's going on."_

"Sylvia, please, calm down. Last week was great, but honestly, this can't happen." Trowa sighed and fell back against the wall in the corridor. Would this girl ever give up?

"_What do you mean … is this over? Are _we_ over?" _

She was nearly in hysterics. Trowa pressed two fingers against his forehead, he could feel a severe headache coming on, and he imagined that it was mostly due to the half-screeching girl on the other end of the phone. "We are not over, Sylvia, because there was never anything to begin with."

"_So, I'm a one-night stand?_" Even across the phone, Trowa could tell that her breaths were infrequent and erratic. "_I thought that you were better than this, Trowa."_

"Sylvia, you barely know me, please, let's be reasonable-"

"_I _am_ being reasonable!"_ Sylvia cut in, "_I will not accept this Trowa. I will not accept this!"_

"What are you-" However, he never finished his sentence, for the slam on the other side and the resonating beep from the receiver, indicated that Sylvia had hung up. "Damn it." Trowa scowled, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

Sylvia was quickly becoming another obstacle in his life that was intent on hindering his relationship with Relena.

"I am _not_ in love with her," Duo's loud voice rang out from an isolated room, further down the corridor. "Man, don't be ridiculous-"

"You're not in love with her?" Quatre's voice enquired, "Then why are you complaining about the seating plan? Why are you so desperate to have her sitting next to you during dinner?""

Raising his eyebrows, Trowa stealthily made his way towards the room, halting eventually behind the doorframe and ensuring that he was kept out of sight.

"Because … well, because she's a good friend of mine, and I … I like to talk to her. That's why." Duo stubbornly retorted.

"Relena's also a good friend of yours, and you like to talk to her. She's sitting in your vicinity. You'll be able to communicate freely with her, so what's the problem?"

"Yes, true, but I want Hilde to sit beside me, and besides, Relena's with _Trowa_!"

Trowa shook his head and strolled knowingly into the room, "What's that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at Duo.

Duo, looking taken aback, gazed at him with wide, cobalt blue eyes, and a facial expression of a deer caught in headlamps.

"Huh? Oh, nothing, just that … hold on, were you eavesdropping?" Duo glared at him, with accusing eyes.

Trowa scoffed, "I'd hardly call it eavesdropping. I just happened to overhear my name."

"Right, sure," Duo answered, disbelievingly.

"That's exactly my point, Duo." Quatre said, causing the confused boy to whip around and stare at him, eyebrows furrowed down deeply.

"What do you mean 'exactly'? How does that prove anything … at all?"

Quatre shrugged one shoulder, "Trowa will be with Relena … and you want to be with Hilde." He looked at Duo, determinedly, "Am I not correct?"

"I don't like her in _that _way, I just want to sit next to her. There's no Relen-Trowa thing going on between us!" Duo cried, "Why can't you get that into your head?"

"What?" Trowa asked, "What do you mean 'Relena-Trowa'? Why are you using me as an example?"

"Trowa," Duo said, cocking his head to the side and observing him intriguingly, "I think that this is the most you've ever talked in one day-"

"Stop changing the topic, and tell me what in God's name you're on about." Trowa felt himself becoming uncharacteristically angry. They kept dodging the actual point, working their way around it, without actually explaining to him, what it was they were talking about, and avoidance was something that he viewed with a disdainful hatred.

"You're in love with Relena, and Duo's in love with Hilde." Quatre said simply, running a hand through his gleaming, blond locks. "What is wrong with you guys? Why are you so hesitant to admit your true feelings?"

"You're acting like girls." Wufei stated, pointedly, from a chair on the other side. Trowa stared at him, not even realising the man had been in the room in the first place.

"Precisely … am I the only man in this room?" Quatre asked, standing up and stretching casually.

The others passed looks between each other … was Quatre really trying to declare that he was the manly one out of the four of them?

Wufei cleared his throat, drawing Quatre's attention back to him.

"And you too, Wufei!"

"What_ about_ me? I'm not in denial. I'm not in a relationship with anybody, you idiot." He snorted scornfully.

"Oh? Then tell me … why are you currently living with Sally Po?" Quatre probed. Trowa smirked, amused. As long as the limelight wasn't turned back on Relena and him, everything was fine.

Wufei, whose cheeks were rapidly being painted a dark shade of red, looked furious, "We work together! It's for convenience; we're not involved with each other!"

"You work with me and we're not living together." Trowa stated, evenly, crossing his arms against his chest and perching himself on the armrest of one of the dark navy, leather couches.

"Why do you suddenly start talking so much now?" Wufei growled, glowering at him. Trowa shrugged, unperturbed. "I preferred when you were a mute."

"Wufei!" Quatre cried.

Wufei's eyes narrowed at Quatre. "I don't like Sally that way!" he scoffed.

"And I don't like Hilde that way!" Duo added.

"Jesus," Quatre turned towards Trowa, expectantly, "Are you also going to deny your undying love for …"

Trowa stared at him. He didn't feel like denying this, especially not to his closest friend. It wasn't the point of whether or not he could hide his feelings, for everybody knew, very well, that when it came to hiding emotions, Trowa was clearly the expert of the group. However, it was more that he was tired of having to deny it, and considering what had happened with Relena over the past week, he had looked forward to showing the others that he wasn't the emotionless statue that they made him out to be.

But he couldn't … because _she _had specifically asked him not to.

-x- -x- -x-

"I'll have to give you all a tour of the house," Dorothy said as she moved from the room, beckoning the other girls to follow, "As you already know, we only moved in last week …"

Relena skimmed her eyes across the lobby. It certainly didn't look like they'd only moved in last week, but knowing Dorothy, she'd probably spent millions on hiring people to do all of her dirty work for her, and Quatre would just go along with whatever you wanted … anything to please his beloved.

Relena grimaced, mentally reprimanding herself. She really had to stop thinking so badly of other people. Oh, how cynical she had become.

"… So you'll have to excuse the mess."

Hilde nudged her, with a pointy elbow and grinned, amused, "What mess?" she mouthed, raising a baffled eyebrow.

Dorothy stopped suddenly in front of a room, pushing the door open smoothly, "I'll just get Quatre here, so we can all go around together, it is a fairly big house …"

A few muffled voices protruded out to the corridor, "… deny your undying love for R…" and as Relena stepped into the room, following Catherine and Hilde, she noticed the boys, all gathered around a small coffee table, looking half-agitated and half-amused.

"Darling!" Dorothy called, startling Quatre from his rant. The platinum blond spun around on his heel, staring at his fiancé uncertainly before catching Relena's eye and blinking.

"Dorothy, what have I told you about bursting into rooms like that? You startled me."

"I'm sorry, dear, but I just thought that it would be a good time to- oof!" Trowa brushed past her, swiftly, making a steady exit out of the room and slamming the door behind him. "What was that about? Quatre," she asked, "have you been winding people up again?"

Ducking her head, Relena discreetly headed for the door, nodding briefly at Hilde, before slipping out.

Trowa had already reached the front double doors by the time that Relena had escaped, but his body froze, fingers hovering in the air between his body and the door handle, when he heard the click of the door from behind. His cinnamon brown hair had fallen into its usual style, shadowing the contours of his well-defined face, and obscuring the details of his eyes from anyone around.

"Do you care to explain what that was about in there?" Relena asked, understanding that he had stopped to give her the chance to speak.

Trowa's broad shoulders slumped forwards, a sign of defeat, as he turned around slowly. Relena waited for the truth, but it seemed that it wasn't coming.

"Well?" She raised her eyebrows, eyes widening; trying to display to him her impatience.

Trowa shook his head dismissively, his eyes falling to the ground. "It was nothing, Relena, I'm just tired. Go back in, Wufei will take you home."

Relena straightened, now confused, "Wufei? I thought-"

"I'm going home. To my house." Tilting her head to the side, Relena stepped one foot towards him. He didn't budge.

She sighed, "Don't do this, Trowa."

Trowa turned to face her fully, tipping his head up defiantly as the chandelier above cast a glowing light across his face, chasing away the shadows. It was, as she had already guessed, a blank canvas, completely void of all emotion. He was locking himself up again, shutting down. A cold glaze swept across his eyes, "What am I doing?"

"You're running away."

Trowa laughed, but there was no humour in his tone, it was cold and derisive … somewhat mocking. "I'm running away? How ironic, Relena, considering _you_ are the one who wants to hide this from everyone."

Relena winced; "Oh, _this_ is what this is all about."

Trowa started to turn away again. "You know, I didn't understand why you were doing this, until I overheard people talking earlier. About how poor, darling Relena still hasn't gotten over _him_."

He looked over his shoulder at her, eyes glaring, "And I laughed, because, you know what? They're right. You _haven't_."

Relena frowned, that wasn't true, was it? He had hit an emotional button, and he knew it; his bluntness towards the subject just made everything so much worse. She still loved Heero, of course did, she always would, but that didn't mean she wasn't over him.

"I was just something; _someone_, you could use in your mind to stand in for him. You never cared about me … this whole time. You never cared." His voice was quiet, calm; as though he were talking to himself.

"That's not true-" Relena objected, still unsure of the truth herself, and he could hear it in her voice, and it seemed to make it so much harder for him.

"Then why not tell them?" He paused, breathing in deeply, "Answer me that, Relena … why not tell them?"

Swallowing hard, Relena raced through her mind for a valid reason. Why didn't she want to tell them?

"Because," Trowa answered for her, "it would mean admitting, to them, and most importantly, yourself, that you _have_ moved on." He closed his eyes, laughing softly.

Relena gasped for air, it seemed that during this encounter, she had forgotten her natural instinct to breathe. The back of her throat stung bitterly and tears welled up in her eyes, but she would not let them fall.

"And that would just be lying, because you haven't moved on." Trowa concluded, "It's fine Relena. I understand, I'm not happy about it, but I understand." He turned, opening the heavy doors in one swift motion, and stepping outside. "Come find me when you've figured yourself out."

The doors swung shut behind him, and all of a sudden, his tall, lean silhouette was barricaded from view.

* * *

A/N - Tadaa. You have no idea how hard that was to write, but eventually … I popped it out :) 

Thanks for your support and for reading. Reviews would also be greatly appreciated, even if they are only short sentences, or even single words.


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